IC: CONTACT (THE PINES)

[royalpassport]

❝ This is Jefferson. If I don't pick up, it's probably because I don't want to talk to you. ❞

[ Voice | Action | Passive Aggressive Post-It Notes | Message Board Texts ]

Comments

[sheriffing]

Because when you're at work, you don't listen.

[ YOU DO THIS TO HER ON PURPOSE, JEFFERSON.]

[royalpassport]

So you're using the computer to make me your captive audience? I knew there was a reason I didn't like these things...

[sheriffing]

You're still listening.

[royalpassport]

Why don't you just order the tea? It's a TEA shop, after all.

[sheriffing]

Fifty percent of your menu is items that are not tea.

[ like baked goods.]

[royalpassport]

All items that complement the tea.

[ INSERT SHRUG GUY EMOTE HERE-- if he were savvy enough to know how to emote. ]

[sheriffing]

Or the hot chocolate that you sometimes have.

[there is no shrugging at hot chocolate, Jefferson!]

[royalpassport]

There's a lovely rooibos with chocolate essence on the menu. Have you ever tried it?

[ Look at that SMOOTH SHIFT back to tea. ]

[sheriffing]

No, because I realized it was tea pretending to be hot chocolate.

[ liar.]

[royalpassport]

It has a subtlety that some people can't appreciate.

[ PLS DO NOT MAKE ANY PUNS ABOUT "SUBTLE-TEA" OR HE WILL RAGEQUIT THE COMPUTER. ]

[sheriffing]

[ what about "HOTTIE" hot tea jokes?]

I'd appreciate you adding hot cocoa to your menu year round.

[royalpassport]

[ DEPENDS ON THE APPLICATION OF "HOTTIE". ]

Even in the summer? That's ridiculous.

[ He says, AS IF IT'S MORE PREPOSTEROUS THAN HOT TEA IN HOT WEATHER.

...

And also as if the shop isn't air conditioned, anyway. ]

[sheriffing]

Your entire business is selling hot drinks year round!

[ Jefferson. she would buy one EVER DAY.]

[royalpassport]

ELEGANT drinks. In iced varieties when it's hot out. It's completely different!

[sheriffing]

You don't sell the hot varieties in the summer?

[ don't lie to her, she knows. she knows.]

[royalpassport]

[ Cue: an unnecessarily long pause. ]

I do.

[sheriffing]

Then I don't see the difference.

You could always keep it off the menu and make it just for me every morning, but that's bad for business.

[royalpassport]

I'll float the idea by my employees, but I don't think they'll like it.

[ LIAR. He knows he's the one with the objection here, not them. ]

[sheriffing]

I think you're full of shit.

[ how did cocoa hurt you Jefferson?]

[royalpassport]

[ It's not the cocoa that hurt him! It's the cocoa-related harassment! ]

I don't know what you're talking about. Where's the trust?

[sheriffing]

In the hot cocoa you refuse to give me. Float the idea by Cassian.

[she trusts him, okay. he puts up with her asking about cocoa on the regular.]

[royalpassport]

Fine. I'll talk to Cassian.

[ Because surely Cassian will see why Jefferson shouldn't give in to Emma's demands! ]

[sheriffing]

Good, tell him I said hi.

[she's not saying he's her favorite. she's just saying he's a better businessman than the owner.]